Tomorrow marks the start of a new chapter in my life. I can't explain the ways in which the past year and a half has been... a whirlwind.. to say the least. Every month it seems like there's been something new going on. It's weird, being 23, the past year has been the one where I've felt the most sudden spurt of growing older. Usually every year that goes by, I don't necessarily feel THAT much older. If anything, I'll look back later and feel semi-older. But for some reason with 23 it's literally been a growth process with something new every week it seems like. I've been so stretched and so challenged -- so forced to make certain changes.
It's so funny how things work out though. I'm such a big believer in the fact that we cease to see the full picture that God has set apart for us. We can choose to remain stagnant, get caught up in our comfort zones, or even distractions that seem like fun while we're in the heat of the moment. That was me the past 6 months. It's truly been a trying time for me. I can honestly say though that I feel so blessed that I've had the opportunity to test out so many different things at only age 23. I've tried working corporate, being in a research lab, doing administrative work, event planning, and even in the mental health sector. All of which have been opportunities that I have been extremely passionate about and interested in. For me, beginning my Master's program at the start of 2013 was something that I thought was really what was meant for me in this next phase of life. After half a year into it though, the past quarter I realized that I may have rushed into it. I'm not as dead set on going into counseling as an official career as I was back then. And I think it was the experience of school and the exposure to the industry that really allowed me to see this. I can't stress how important experiences are.. I feel so bad for people who simply rush into something just because they have a mental picture of what they think it's going to be like. Honey, will are in for a rude awakening. And thankfully, I was blessed enough to realize that this might not be meant for me at such a young age and only 2 quarters in. I realized -- school will always be there. Now is the time to live life to the FULLEST and chase after being truly alive. That's when writing came back into play.
I think the thing is that I have always felt fearful about going full force with the writing thing. I can compare it to my friend who is an amazing singer and has all the potential in the world to be the world's next big star (i'm dead serious). But I think it's that initial fear of exposure and intimidation that holds us back. We're so quick to go after things we know we will thrive in. For instance, I knew I could be successful in the corporate world doing sales/admin and I was. But I wasn't happy. Why? It's not something I'm passionate about at ALL! There's no driving passion behind what I was doing. And for me, I am one of those people who has to be doing something I'm passionate about. After all, don't our careers compose over 70% of our day to day lives? You want to be doing something you love. So that's when I decided to go on a limb and just start applying. After trying so many different routes, opportunities, and crossing out 3084 plans on my to-do list, I realized: It. Always. Comes. Back. To. Writing.
And that's where we come full circle to the amazing opportunity I am starting tomorrow. You may have read my past few posts about feeling so restless and lethargic here. My heart and soul have been yearning for adventure and new explorations. I was itching for it. And lo and behold the right door opened up. I will officially be an editorial content writer for an amazing start-up in SF for the next 10 weeks. Finally, a solid step in the right direction to set my feet on a firm foundation for the career I want to seek after. I can't explain how humbled I am to be given this opportunity -- among over 200 candidates! It's been such a confidence booster and a push in my drive and ambition to use the next 10 weeks to grow in my niche and develop the skills I need to thrive in the writing world. We shall see. I'll never know until I try and now is that time. Meanwhile, my main inner circle is all getting domesticated; having kids & getting married (and yes, literally it's all of them)... so I do feel the yearning even more to remember to DO ME. It's so incredibly hard not to get caught up in the status quo and think you're the minority since you're not going with the crowd. But this constant reminder to myself is what has kept me going and helped to maintain my perspective. It's ongoing. This is my life. Yes, it looks a lot different from yours. I'm not the girl that went all her life "knowing" her destiny was to be a lawyer or engineer. I'm a trailblazer. I'm curious. I'm analytical. I like options, testing the waters, and being sure of myself. This opportunity could not have come at a more perfect time for me. It's almost like I'm literally going to be shutting out the rest of the distractions and people who have been negative energy in my life and just going full force with my eye on the prize towards what I want.
I'll be posting more often now that I begin this adventure. The best part of all of it is I literally got my dream come true with it being in San Francisco. It's so funny because for most people location isn't a main driving force and they could care less -- for me, my heart lies in San Fran. I have such a deep love for it and it truly makes me come alive anytime I'm there. The rich culture. The diversity. The LIFE in the streets you walk in; makes such a difference. My goal from March was to find the right job there and to move out there to begin this next chapter. And funny enough, it only took a few months for God to open that perfect door for me. Little by little, the search will officially begin to get settled out there but for now I'm just ready to embark on this adventure and truly get serious about starting my career. I'm no longer in college and no longer in a place of just chilling around and being lazy all day. Sadly, those days are over ;)
But I know the rewards and growth to come are going to be so worth it. Finally, I've realized what matters most is going after our heart's desire and not letting others control us (whether that's our happiness, joy, or what we do). Don't be so quick to give anyone that honor. Protect yourself and guard yourself. By doing that since the start of 2013, I can't even explain the amount of inner growth I've had and the realizations that are so much more clear to me. It's as if I had blinders on before and now I'm seeing crystal clear. To sum this all up I'll leave you with this: for my college entrance essay way back when in 2008, one of my prompts was to write about some song lyrics that speak to me and have significant meaning in my life. I chose, "Let Go" by Frou Frou. A song that I can honestly say has guided me throughout my teen-young adult life. And even now, coming to this juncture in my life, I can say with confidence that I now know exactly what it means when they sing "there's beauty in the breakdown." Amidst a literal breakdown and whirlwind of a life, I've found the beauty and sunlight beaming in through the thicket. And it's the most peaceful illustration I can leave you with.
xox.