#BeYourself

Be You. One of the shortest sentences one can form. Yet one of the most powerful assertions. So what does it mean to be you? What if you don't know who YOU are? Today at work we had a mini offsite for our team that was meant for some team bonding and brainstorming. With only 10 of us, we all went through the book Strengths Finder 2.0 to see what our top five strengths are (or "themes" as they call them). It was so beneficial to go through this with them because when you're working so closely with a team, often times you're left disappointed, confused, or just plain annoyed because you don't know how to deal with them. Maybe you're wondering why they react certain ways to specific situations -- or why they don't react at all. It was so eye-opening to share our results with one another because now I know exactly why they operate the way they do. And most of all, where their top strengths lie. This way we now know how each member of the team can best utilize these strengths to contribute to the team. 

I highly suggest reading this book and taking the assessment (within a team at work, with your significant other, or just for fun between your family or group of friends). As soon as I finished I wanted to share my results with those around me and curious to hear the results of my good friends. 

Just for my own reference so I never forget these (and because I'm sure you readers are dying to know all about me!) ... lol, I'll be sharing my top 5, as well as the tidbits from each that stood out most to me. It's interesting because we actually had to read this book for a course I took in high school and I still have it at home. I was comparing my results to the ones I got today (almost 7 years later) and 3 of my 5 strengths have remained the same. The other two are completely new! And in a new order too. Here it goes: 

1) Empathy

People who are especially talented in the Empathy theme can sense the feelings of other people by imagining themselves in others’ lives or others’ situations.

What stood out most: Chances are good that you are attuned to the full gamut of human feelings. Whenever your own or someone else’s life becomes emotionally barren, you search for people and activities to fill the void. You bring people together. Because of your strengths, you frequently detect impending conflict sooner than most people do. Your keen awareness allows you to sense what others are thinking and feeling. Simply put: You have a gift for helping people find common ground. By nature, you pay attention to what others think. You make them feel valued. Typically people sense that you appreciate what they say. This probably explains why many people enjoy spending time with you.

2) Harmony

People who are especially talented in the Harmony theme look for consensus. They don’t enjoy conflict; rather, they seek areas of agreement.

What stood out the most: You realize everyone sees opportunities, problems, solutions, and events differently. While you have opinions, you refrain from imposing them on others. You are good-natured — that is,you have a pleasant, cheerful, and cooperative disposition. Chances are good that you accomplish everything that others are counting on you to do. This is one reason why people admire you. 

3) Connectedness

People who are especially talented in the Connectedness theme have faith in the links between all things. They believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.

What stood out the most: Driven by your talents, you sense that everything in life is somehow interrelated and interdependent. This idea fortifies you to calmly face most of life’s challenges and difficulties. ... By nature, you naturally build bonds that unite different types of people who have separate and often clashing agendas. You naturally identify with someone’s situation. You have a gift for helping people discover what they have in common. 

4) Consistency

People who are especially talented in the Consistency theme are keenly aware of the need to treat people the same. They try to treat everyone in the world with consistency by setting up clear rules and adhering to them.

What stood out the most: You might worry that chaos will reign when regulations or standard operating procedures are not uniformly enforced. Because of your strengths, you may have a reputation for straightening up certain types of things such as your desk, home, and personal items. Perhaps you have a detailed plan or schedule for cleaning, organizing, and maintaining your physical environment. By nature, you like creating familiar patterns of behavior. (dead on!) 

5) Communication 

People who are especially talented in the Communication theme generally find it easy to put their thoughts into words. They are good conversationalists and presenters.

What stood out the most: Instinctively, you very much enjoy the animated give-and-take of a lively discussion. You yearn to spend time with your friends. Their absence saddens you. It’s very likely that you are sometimes open and honest about who you are, what you have done, what you can do, and what you cannot do. Maybe your straightforward explanations and stories help listeners see you as you see yourself.

Perhaps your words and examples move them to action. Because of your strengths, you like to
amuse people with your stories. Your stories probably provide people with pleasant distractions from their daily routines and worries. Chances are good that you select the right combination
of words to convey your ideas or feelings. You probably express yourself with ease and grace.

----

That's me! Reading these strengths and diving deep into discovering them is one step closer into figuring out who I am and now the challenge is to BE me with no hesitation, fear, or care about who will accept and and who wont. It's liberating. 

#sfdigs

I think it's safe to say it's finally time for an update from the Tiger's Den. (Yes, I named my apartment -- because, why not?). It's been almost six months now and the details are all slowly coming together. There's still a lot I want to add to fine-tune my vision, but lets be real, this get expensive! The great thing is that I was able to find a lot of my accent pieces from Target (Nate Berkus collection for the win!). Everything else is things I had from home or from when I was in college. I think the only thing I splurged on was my Anthropologie comforter.  Other than that, my accent wall is in still in progress but I'm so pleased with the first four pieces that came together. Not to mention the people some of them came from!

Flower print taken by one of my biggest inspirations, Delbarr Moradi //"Let's Stay Home" off Etsy -- probably my favorite piece in my room so far. Describes me to the T  // (Thank you, Elms, for the find).

Breaking Bad vintage wall art from Vietnam via my soul sister

#citylife

 

Today marks day 20 of me moving to San Francisco. Yes, I am a slacker, I have no excuse for being so late on a life update, but hey better late than never. I still cannot even begin to process the fact that I live here now. It has been one of the best decisions I ever made. Best of all, it's been such a breath of fresh air to get away from the bubble I've grown up in my whole life and venture out to see the rest the world (ironically, looks like sometimes you only need to get an hour away and you'll still feel the change of pace). SF couldn't be more different than what I'm used to. Some nights I remember taking the train home from work and getting to my driveway back home and being in total suburbia ..... and just needing to take a moment to soak it all in because it's those moments where I feel like I have two different lives going on.

It's been so much more convenient moving here and I feel like with every aspect of life I have more of a sync and balance. Who knew knocking of 3 hours of commuting a day would have such an effect. I've been walking to work every day, admiring the gorgeous Civic Center buildings on my walk over and just admiring the city's livelihood, no matter what the hour.

Even with work I feel so much more stimulated now. I still have those long hours but I almost don't even mind it anymore since my commute has shortened so much and I'm lucky enough to work with people I love so it's a fun time regardless.

I feel like the adventures are just beginning. There have been so many wish-list places on my endless SF exploration list, but I've experienced so many of them so far. Some of the best foods, fancy dinners, hole in the walls -- the list goes on. I think my favorite part though has been the proximity to my friends. I'm like smack in the middle of 4-5 really close friends so the best part has been walking to their place for a movie night or just having people to hang out with anytime you want.

I'm going to keep this one short since I'm still soaking in so much from this experience, but to sum it all up, it's been absolutely perfect thus far. I'm so happy about using this time to grow both in my work and personally... and I know this move and change in independence is going to play a huge role in the growth process. The best is yet to come.

#newchapter

 

Tomorrow marks the start of a new chapter in my life. I can't explain the ways in which the past year and a half has been... a whirlwind.. to say the least. Every month it seems like there's been something new going on. It's weird, being 23, the past year has been the one where I've felt the most sudden spurt of growing older. Usually every year that goes by, I don't necessarily feel THAT much older. If anything, I'll look back later and feel semi-older. But for some reason with 23 it's literally been a growth process with something new every week it seems like. I've been so stretched and so challenged -- so forced to make certain changes.

It's so funny how things work out though. I'm such a big believer in the fact that we cease to see the full picture that God has set apart for us. We can choose to remain stagnant, get caught up in our comfort zones, or even distractions that seem like fun while we're in the heat of the moment. That was me the past 6 months. It's truly been a trying time for me. I can honestly say though that I feel so blessed that I've had the opportunity to test out so many different things at only age 23. I've tried working corporate, being in a research lab, doing administrative work, event planning, and even in the mental health sector. All of which have been opportunities that I have been extremely passionate about and interested in. For me, beginning my Master's program at the start of 2013 was something that I thought was really what was meant for me in this next phase of life. After half a year into it though, the past quarter I realized that I may have rushed into it. I'm not as dead set on going into counseling as an official career as I was back then. And I think it was the experience of school and the exposure to the industry that really allowed me to see this. I can't stress how important experiences are.. I feel so bad for people who simply rush into something just because they have a mental picture of what they think it's going to be like. Honey, will are in for a rude awakening. And thankfully, I was blessed enough to realize that this might not be meant for me at such a young age and only 2 quarters in. I realized -- school will always be there. Now is the time to live life to the FULLEST and chase after being truly alive. That's when writing came back into play.

I think the thing is that I have always felt fearful about going full force with the writing thing. I can compare it to my friend who is an amazing singer and has all the potential in the world to be the world's next big star (i'm dead serious). But I think it's that initial fear of exposure and intimidation that holds us back. We're so quick to go after things we know we will thrive in. For instance, I knew I could be successful in the corporate world doing sales/admin and I was. But I wasn't happy. Why? It's not something I'm passionate about at ALL! There's no driving passion behind what I was doing. And for me, I am one of those people who has to be doing something I'm passionate about. After all, don't our careers compose over 70% of our day to day lives? You want to be doing something you love. So that's when I decided to go on a limb and just start applying. After trying so many different routes, opportunities, and crossing out 3084 plans on my to-do list, I realized: It. Always. Comes. Back. To. Writing.

And that's where we come full circle to the amazing opportunity I am starting tomorrow. You may have read my past few posts about feeling so restless and lethargic here. My heart and soul have been yearning for adventure and new explorations. I was itching for it. And lo and behold the right door opened up. I will officially be an editorial content writer for an amazing start-up in SF for the next 10 weeks. Finally, a solid step in the right direction to set my feet on a firm foundation for the career I want to seek after. I can't explain how humbled I am to be given this opportunity -- among over 200 candidates! It's been such a confidence booster and a push in my drive and ambition to use the next 10 weeks to grow in my niche and develop the skills I need to thrive in the writing world. We shall see. I'll never know until I try and now is that time. Meanwhile, my main inner circle is all getting domesticated; having kids & getting married (and yes, literally it's all of them)... so I do feel the yearning even more to remember to DO ME. It's so incredibly hard not to get caught up in the status quo and think you're the minority since you're not going with the crowd. But this constant reminder to myself is what has kept me going and helped to maintain my perspective. It's ongoing. This is my life. Yes, it looks a lot different from yours. I'm not the girl that went all her life "knowing" her destiny was to be a lawyer or engineer. I'm a trailblazer. I'm curious. I'm analytical. I like options, testing the waters, and being sure of myself. This opportunity could not have come at a more perfect time for me. It's almost like I'm literally going to be shutting out the rest of the distractions and people who have been negative energy in my life and just going full force with my eye on the prize towards what I want.

I'll be posting more often now that I begin this adventure. The best part of all of it is I literally got my dream come true with it being in San Francisco. It's so funny because for most people location isn't a main driving force and they could care less -- for me, my heart lies in San Fran. I have such a deep love for it and it truly makes me come alive anytime I'm there. The rich culture. The diversity. The LIFE in the streets you walk in; makes such a difference. My goal from March was to find the right job there and to move out there to begin this next chapter. And funny enough, it only took a few months for God to open that perfect door for me. Little by little, the search will officially begin to get settled out there but for now  I'm just ready to embark on this adventure and truly get serious about starting my career. I'm no longer in college and no longer in a place of just chilling around and being lazy all day. Sadly, those days are over ;)

But I know the rewards and growth to come are going to be so worth it. Finally, I've realized what matters most is going after our heart's desire and not letting others control us (whether that's our happiness, joy, or what we do). Don't be so quick to give anyone that honor. Protect yourself and guard yourself. By doing that since the start of 2013, I can't even explain the amount of inner growth I've had and the realizations that are so much more clear to me. It's as if I had blinders on before and now I'm seeing crystal clear. To sum this all up I'll leave you with this: for my college entrance essay way back when in 2008, one of my prompts was to write about some song lyrics that speak to me and have significant meaning in my life. I chose, "Let Go" by Frou Frou. A song that I can honestly say has guided me throughout my teen-young adult life. And even now, coming to this juncture in my life, I can say with confidence that I now know exactly what it means when they sing "there's beauty in the breakdown." Amidst a literal breakdown and whirlwind of a life, I've found the beauty and sunlight beaming in through the thicket. And it's the most peaceful illustration I can leave you with.

xox.

transitions

- So, sadly there's no new episode of Parenthood tonight and I think that a personal post is long overdue.. so I thought might as well get right to it. I've had a crazy couple of months when I take the time to sit back and recollect my thoughts on the past few months. Actually make that the past year. I still can't fathom how fast 2012 has flown by. I feel like I experience this every year, but honestly with year I think that it's been the fastest. I look back on how quickly each month flew by and all of the transitions that I've made in only a year.

Starting with graduating from college in December 2011 and moving back home to living with my parents, that was a big one. In my life I've always had my paths sort of set in front of me. It was always, get good grades and aim for the best and then when you're there, start that process over again for the next big thing. I have lived and breathed this cycle since elementary school and finally at the end of 2011, I truly came to the end of the ongoing cycle. I graduated from one of the best schools in California with honors, and 2 quarters early at that. You think you'd feel very accomplished right? I don't think I've ever felt more lost or confused than I did when I moved back home; right around the same time we rang in the new year.

I spent the first chunk of the new year job searching and really figuring out what I should do with my life. My initial go-to was comparing myself to everyone around me; what kinds of jobs do they have? how much should I be making? what kind of job looks "legit" or "prestigious"? That tends to always be the biggest mistake of mine. I'm ALWAYS comparing myself to others and wanting what I don't have. It's led to a lot of realizations over the years, and most importantly the lesson that I'm living my own life, no one else's... so might as well make this the best possible life for myself.

After 5 months of interviewing, stressing, and searching.. (oh, and include a spontaneous family trip to Europe in between all that!), I finally landed the right job; the perfect job in my eyes. I began working as a recruiter at a third party agency at a company really close to my house. I honestly think this was the best first job that anyone could have had. I was new to the corporate world and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, career-wise. This job gave me the opportunity to really gain a sense of all the different industries that are out there. I was able to work with some of the biggest names in Silicon Valley, as well as truly grow as a person. I look back and one of the biggest things I am thankful for is that I grew so much in shedding a lot of insecurities that I had and grew in my professionalism and confidence. A lot of fears I once had totally disappeared and were replaced with so much knowledge and maturity. Plus on top of all that, I was able to work with some of the best people that I have yet to meet. Our office was small so we literally became a family.

Flash forward 4 months in and we are here. Long story short, but as always, life is unpredictable my friends. And sometimes you don't know how good something was until it's gone.. or until it changes dramatically. Unfortunately, my work life took a huge turn and was overtaken by new management. The company did a complete 180 and we honestly couldn't even recognize it as what it once was. People left, new people came, and the culture shifted very significantly. As of right now, that door of my life has closed and I look at it now through the eyes of someone who isn't that little girl who is fearful about what is to come. Instead, I look at this like a blessing in disguise.

All of my life, I've had so many passions but yet to go after them. I sell myself short, think I don't deserve the things that I want, or that they're too hard to obtain. I realize how that the constraints I've put on myself are the only things that are stopping me. Even starting this blog and being regular about it was truly a tough feat. But I finally realized, if this is my true passion, start! You have nothing to lose. I see the blessing in disguise, because my last month at my job I kept wishing and hoping for a new opportunity to present itself. In a way, my time there was done. It was such a great experience to start off with, and I am going to take the lessons I've learned with me throughout the rest of my career -- but it was almost as if God was also agreeing with me and saying, yes the time has come to move onto something bigger and better.

So right now, even though I feel like I'm back at square one and back to where I was exactly at the start of 2012, I realize I'm not there at all. In fact, I've progressed so many steps forward. In maturity, in wisdom, in confidence, and in faith. The verse I have posted above is the verse that I'm leaning on and truly walking out in this next stage of my life. I want to be the woman who can truly laugh in confidence & in hope that there is absolutely no fear of the future; but only good things ahead.

If it's writing & blogging that I love, then I won't cease to write until I land something. If it's event planning, if it's recruiting, if it's in the corporate world, or even starting my own business venture -- nothing is too out there as long as I myself believe in it.

And that's been the biggest transition of all -- shifting from all of the personal doubt to believing in myself moreso than I ever have before. Looks like a new chapter has literally been added in to my life at this point. And it's my job to choose how it's going to be written.

typical post-college syndrome

why is it that my own 17 year old brother is so passionate and driven about what he wants to do with his life and future, while i'm sitting here more confused than i've ever been in my life? it's so embarrassing when everyone's favorite question is, "so now that you're a graduate, what are you doing next?" and i just give them a blank stare and tell them i legitimately have no idea. i feel like it makes me look pathetic. here i am, done with school from one of the top 20 public schools in the US, with a pretty decent GPA, and some great memories under my belt -- but now i'm back at home, 2 weeks in, and i'm just confused. borderline frustrated with myself because i feel like this is what i felt like freshman year of college and not what i should be feeling like now. i thought i was supposed to have it all figured out by now. i'm applying to some marketing jobs/ the business field and getting my resume all spruced up for that, but in reality, this is not the kind of job i want nor think that i will enjoy. sure, i know the pay will be amazing, but honestly why do i want to do this at age 22?

i want to travel, i want to experience life, i want to see other parts of the world, interact with different kinds of people... i feel like i've been in a bubble for the majority of my life and it's soon going to be too late.

:/