#bestoftheyear

It seemed only fitting to follow up my goodbye to 2014 post with a look back at some of my favorite memories of the last year. So much has happened in one year that it feels like January was forever ago, but then on the other hand it's all flown by so fast that I am shocked we're at another NYE. As I'm sitting here by the fire, cozying up with my Anthropologie candle, I couldn't be more content. I'm loving that I get to spend my evening blogging about my fondest memories instead of worrying about getting dolled up and having high expectations for some night out. Call it getting older or what you will, not sure what it is — but this year I feel so at peace just staying in, baking cookies, and reflecting on how awesome the year was. So without further ado, here is my top 8 (in no particular order, except maybe the top two, haha).

1) Moving to SF

This was definitely the biggest highlight of the year as I'm sure many of you know by now with the past blog posts and whatnot. It was always a dream of mine to experience life in a city, on my own -- being free to explore and truly find myself amidst the hustle and bustle of a city that's not too big and not too small. It's been one of the best decisions I ever made. I have learned things about myself and the world around me by choosing to step outside my bubble and what I've always known. I can't wait to begin year 2 in the city and go on even more adventures.

2) An impromptu trip to Vegas & partying with the Backstreet Boys

This was also a blog post in itself so I won't get into the amazing twist of fate that is this epic tale. But I will note again that this one's up there in my top memories of the year. My friend and I decided almost 48 hours before that we were heading on this spontaneous adventure together. What happened later was epic and will always be one of my top memories in life. Read the entire story here.

3) Soul Cycle

I tried Soul Cycle for the first time this March and it's honestly changed the way I view fitness and working out completely. I have never really been into exercise, it's more of an after thought. I only get into it like a month before a big trip and I'm feeling fat, haha. But this year after trying Soul Cycle for the first time I was mind blown. Not only did I learn so much about how much exercise can change our moods, our perspective, and stress levels — but I also just feel so much more comfortable in my own skin after being active. Every time I attend one of these classes, I leave feeling I just went out dancing in a club and came out of a therapy session at the same time. It's that cathartic. That's not to say I'm a weekly attendee (ain't nobody got money for that unfortunately, haha) but those experiences have actually led to me being more aware and conscious about how important it is to stay active and fit. I finally joined a gym and looking forward to continuing to keep at it in the year to come.

4) One of my best friend's weddings in Hawaii

This summer I was so honored and blessed to celebrate the marriage of two of my oldest and closest friends in HAWAII. The summer was spent prepping for the big day with tons of dress fittings, a girls trip to Napa, a bridal shower, and resting for a week in paradise leading up to the big day. I've attended close to 10 weddings in the last two years so I know how chaotic and stressful of a time it can be. For some reason this one holds such a special place in my heart. Maybe it's because of how close of a bond I share with both the bride and groom. As well as how much humility and character I saw in the precious bride from day 1 til the end of the wedding. It was also such a honor to be up there with her with such an intimate group of us bridesmaids, only 5 of us including sisters from each side of the family. It so awesome praying together, sending email threads of devotionals before the big day, dying of laughter together at the bachelorette, and witnessing one of the most powerful ceremonies. In Hawaii of all spots! True paradise.

5) Turning 25

This one was huge. I didn't think I would feel any different because I honestly never do when I initially have a birthday. But for some reason this one was much different. I went into it not having any expectations (a first for me) and it ended up being the best birthday I've had to date I think! Not only was I overwhelmed with love and affection on the day of, but the entire week was so special to me. I heard from so many people I hadn't even seen in so long and I was able to celebrate with those nearest and dearest to me. On top of all that, I really felt like this time, turning one year older made a lasting impact on me. I genuinely feel a year older and I feel the weight of being at that season where I am a quarter-century. It's just been such a defining time. I'm making more life changing decisions and choosing what/whom I want to invest in even more. I've let go of so many old mindsets and I just feel such a wave of contentment. It's such a good feeling. I can't wait for the year to unfold.

6) Ten year elementary school reunion

This day was so awesome. I had gone to school with the same ~40 people from first to eighth grade. From age 6 to 14! It's insane. Flash forward ten years later and I decided: we. must. reunite. Although we didn't get as big of a turn out as I wished, it was such a precious time. With only 10-12 of us, we had an intimate lunch and just spent time catching up and reflecting on old memories. It's insane how you can feel distant with certain friends that you do life with daily. And then with others, you can not see one another for close to 10 years and when you do it's as if NOTHING has changed. That's how it felt with this group. It's also something that no one will ever understand, you know? That bond. We did close to nine years of life together. Every day. The bond we share.. having legitimately grown up together.. is one that's unshakeable. I'm so glad we reunited and just the fact that I have stayed in touch with a few of these friends over the course of more than half my life is a feat in itself.

7) Brunching

I'm sure by now most of you know how much I love food. Like an insane amount. Sometimes I worry it's an obsession but I deny it. Oh well. Anyways. SF is known for having one of the finest food scenes in the nation so as soon as I moved up, I've had a bucket list of all the places I've wanted to dine at, specifically brunch (my favorite meal, of course). It's been so amazing to try so many incredible dishes. I know I am truly lucky to live in a city where I can take advantage of that on the weekends. Being an avid Yelper, it's been the best feeling to mark off so many of these legendary places with more than thousands of reviews off my bucket list. It might seem so random to some, but amazing food hands down makes my list of top memories for this year :)

8) Spontaneous nights out with my co-workers

I couldn't think of just one memory for this one because there are so many nights that stick out to me when I think of this past year. One of the best parts of being a part of a start up like the one I work for is that everyone is relatively in the same age range and that everyone is always down for the most spontaneous things. I can think of numerous nights were we all decided to go out and karaoke after work, or hit up my favorite 90's night and dance until the club kicked us out. What else? Hot dogs from a hole in the wall at 1am, epic concerts where we were front row singing along.. the list goes on! We're so fortunate to have a company who values team morale and community so much that we're always doing something on the weekly. Even if it means staying in the office playing video games until midnight.. we always manage to have a great time together. These memories made my year so much more exciting and full of life.

Happy New Year, everyone! <3

#BeYourself

Be You. One of the shortest sentences one can form. Yet one of the most powerful assertions. So what does it mean to be you? What if you don't know who YOU are? Today at work we had a mini offsite for our team that was meant for some team bonding and brainstorming. With only 10 of us, we all went through the book Strengths Finder 2.0 to see what our top five strengths are (or "themes" as they call them). It was so beneficial to go through this with them because when you're working so closely with a team, often times you're left disappointed, confused, or just plain annoyed because you don't know how to deal with them. Maybe you're wondering why they react certain ways to specific situations -- or why they don't react at all. It was so eye-opening to share our results with one another because now I know exactly why they operate the way they do. And most of all, where their top strengths lie. This way we now know how each member of the team can best utilize these strengths to contribute to the team. 

I highly suggest reading this book and taking the assessment (within a team at work, with your significant other, or just for fun between your family or group of friends). As soon as I finished I wanted to share my results with those around me and curious to hear the results of my good friends. 

Just for my own reference so I never forget these (and because I'm sure you readers are dying to know all about me!) ... lol, I'll be sharing my top 5, as well as the tidbits from each that stood out most to me. It's interesting because we actually had to read this book for a course I took in high school and I still have it at home. I was comparing my results to the ones I got today (almost 7 years later) and 3 of my 5 strengths have remained the same. The other two are completely new! And in a new order too. Here it goes: 

1) Empathy

People who are especially talented in the Empathy theme can sense the feelings of other people by imagining themselves in others’ lives or others’ situations.

What stood out most: Chances are good that you are attuned to the full gamut of human feelings. Whenever your own or someone else’s life becomes emotionally barren, you search for people and activities to fill the void. You bring people together. Because of your strengths, you frequently detect impending conflict sooner than most people do. Your keen awareness allows you to sense what others are thinking and feeling. Simply put: You have a gift for helping people find common ground. By nature, you pay attention to what others think. You make them feel valued. Typically people sense that you appreciate what they say. This probably explains why many people enjoy spending time with you.

2) Harmony

People who are especially talented in the Harmony theme look for consensus. They don’t enjoy conflict; rather, they seek areas of agreement.

What stood out the most: You realize everyone sees opportunities, problems, solutions, and events differently. While you have opinions, you refrain from imposing them on others. You are good-natured — that is,you have a pleasant, cheerful, and cooperative disposition. Chances are good that you accomplish everything that others are counting on you to do. This is one reason why people admire you. 

3) Connectedness

People who are especially talented in the Connectedness theme have faith in the links between all things. They believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.

What stood out the most: Driven by your talents, you sense that everything in life is somehow interrelated and interdependent. This idea fortifies you to calmly face most of life’s challenges and difficulties. ... By nature, you naturally build bonds that unite different types of people who have separate and often clashing agendas. You naturally identify with someone’s situation. You have a gift for helping people discover what they have in common. 

4) Consistency

People who are especially talented in the Consistency theme are keenly aware of the need to treat people the same. They try to treat everyone in the world with consistency by setting up clear rules and adhering to them.

What stood out the most: You might worry that chaos will reign when regulations or standard operating procedures are not uniformly enforced. Because of your strengths, you may have a reputation for straightening up certain types of things such as your desk, home, and personal items. Perhaps you have a detailed plan or schedule for cleaning, organizing, and maintaining your physical environment. By nature, you like creating familiar patterns of behavior. (dead on!) 

5) Communication 

People who are especially talented in the Communication theme generally find it easy to put their thoughts into words. They are good conversationalists and presenters.

What stood out the most: Instinctively, you very much enjoy the animated give-and-take of a lively discussion. You yearn to spend time with your friends. Their absence saddens you. It’s very likely that you are sometimes open and honest about who you are, what you have done, what you can do, and what you cannot do. Maybe your straightforward explanations and stories help listeners see you as you see yourself.

Perhaps your words and examples move them to action. Because of your strengths, you like to
amuse people with your stories. Your stories probably provide people with pleasant distractions from their daily routines and worries. Chances are good that you select the right combination
of words to convey your ideas or feelings. You probably express yourself with ease and grace.

----

That's me! Reading these strengths and diving deep into discovering them is one step closer into figuring out who I am and now the challenge is to BE me with no hesitation, fear, or care about who will accept and and who wont. It's liberating. 

#newyearnewme

"New Year, New Me" -- probably one of the most reused sayings when it comes to bringing in the new year. I think the notion behind it is actually very beautiful. Celebrating the end of an era and starting fresh with a brand new chapter; it gives us reason to want to re-invent ourselves, almost like a blank slate. 2013 is dunzo and it's been a little under a week that we've peered into 2014, yet it already feels like such a change compared to this past year.

I had one of the wildest years of my life. One that I think stands out dramatically from the rest when I look back. Turning 24 at the end of this past year set things in motion for a dramatic change come these next few months. SO much change has happened. I took one of the biggest leaps of faith 8 months ago and opted to take an internship, which in turn led to being hired permanently as a content writer for my dream company. Words can't express how much of a blessing that has been. Not only that, but it's a literal dream come true for me because I'm now in the process of preparing to move to the city in less than a month. It feels so surreal. That's been something I've dreamt of since college days and now it's a reality. I'm so glad I had the experience of commuting and living life within the city before opting to actually move there. I figured out what I wanted and what I didn't, and now the pieces just seem to fit so well.

At the start of every new year, we've been taught to come up with our list of resolutions. For me, I don't like saying things and then not keeping them because it only leads to regret at the end of that year, but lets face it, you're more inclined to go after these resolutions if you write them out and make them goals. I don't have like a top ten list or anything, but these are a few of the things I'm really set out to aspire to accomplish in 2014:

1) Travel more. In 2013 another dream that came true for me was my trip to NYC. It's funny because I think that's so normal to some people who have had the luxury of traveling a lot and having lavish vacations all their lives, but for me big vacations are something we tend to do once every two years or so. In 2012 it was two weeks in Europe which was AMAZING, but this trip to NYC was something different. The fact that I was able to plan it all and pay for all of it on my own was so rewarding. It was just me and one dear friend and we made the MOST of our 3 days there. I will never forget that trip. It made me realize how much I value self-discovery while traveling. It's something I want to invest my money in and make sure to cross one trip off my list each year from now on. That makes 2014 very exciting to look forward to:)

2) Be completely present, no matter where I am. I have made this mistake on numerous occasions throughout my life. I tend to let my curiosity, or my "fear of missing out" (coined in pop culture as FOMO lately), get the best of me. I want to resolve in 2014 to be 100% present no matter where I am. Especially with this move to SF, I want to savor every single moment of it. From moving in, to the weeknights coming back to my neighborhood after work, to spending some weekends venturing out on my own -- I want all of it to be an adventure that I can look back on and reflect on true self-discovery and growth as a person. No more worry about not being invited to this/ missing out on that event back home/ wishing I was somewhere that I'm not. Instead just full devotion to the present and what a gift that truly is.

3) Last but not least (since the rest are random and borderline embarrassing like learning to play guitar and whatnot lol), I want to fully accept and come to terms with the truth that "Timing is Everything." One of the toughest lessons I've had to learn has been giving up my own control; letting go and letting God. Call it the perfectionist in me or maybe it's this fear of having to settle or compensate.. but I've always wanted things to go the way I've imagined them. This truth about timing was made very clear to me a few days before the New Year. Truth be told, it was actually a tough word to receive because come on, in reality, we don't really like hearing that we have to simply sit back and just wait for God to open doors in His timing. That's so unknown! But that's what a step of faith looks like. It's confidence in the unknown and unseen. I think this past year I've been so preoccupied with worry.. wondering when my time will come for certain things and that's led to major comparison to others around me, which in turn, has led to a depletion of joy. But towards the end of 2013, it just clicked that this is a notion I have to walk with every day --> let go of your own control and trust that the best is yet to come and the best is in store. Why would I doubt that for a second? The fear is crippling, I can vouch for that first hand. The fear of "what if it isn't what I hoped for?" //"what if I feel like I'm settling?"// "When will it come?" -- I mean the list goes on. There is so much fear in the unknown. But I realized I can either spend a year in confusion and anxiety about this, or I can live in joy knowing it's in God's hands and that He will give me the desires of my heart once I delight solely in Him. It's a hard pill to swallow.. but it's such a challenge. I can think of 20 different things that I've allowed my heart to "delight in" over Him sometimes. It's a good reality check to go back and reevaluate these things, and that's what I've been doing as the year started.

I know this year is going to be different, yet so much better than before. I don't believe I need to become a "new me" as the new year has started, yet I'm so thankful that I can take the old me and add to her what amazing lessons I've learned in 2013 and the ones I will continue to learn in 2014. That's what I mean when I say new me.. Same person, but new lessons learned. New growth. New ways of reacting to things in different ways than I would in years past. No more comparisons, no more fear.

Photo credit: Logan Cole Photography

pieces of me

Last night while I was cleaning out my closet I dove right into doing one of my favorite things; reading through my old journals and my old snail mail. I've kept every journal I've had since I was about 13-14 years old, as well as a big suitcase full of all my old cards from birthdays to "thinking-of-you's." I love going through my journals especially and either a) laugh at myself for the things I was worried about back then or b) check myself on the fact that I still am dealing with some of the same things that I need to break free from and address even now. It's funny because we will never stop going through tough times in life. Obviously, life isn't perfect and the world isn't a perfect place. I think sometimes we think we are entitled to that perfect life, free from the internal stress and worry that we so often allow to control our lives. But the reality is this: no, life isn't perfect, but through life's experiences we are given tools and keys to learn to break free and rise above. I think that's the beauty on being able to go back and reflect. I look and see so many areas where hard times were able to give me a new perspective; a new light was shed onto the issue. And there are also the times where I've looked back and I see that I'm still dealing with the same thing. It's in those areas that I realize I still need a new outlook; I still need to see why God's allowing this trial to persist. The trials are never to harm us or lead us to failure. Instead, they're areas where we can develop in our character and perseverance.

--This is an excerpt from a poem I wrote back in 2010. It's crazy that when I was reading this last night, I felt so many of the same emotions that I felt while I was writing this 2 years ago. To look back and be able to tell myself this now, especially while going through a similar season, is SUCH a breath of fresh air. * I apologize in advance for the one usage of profanity-- it should say "BS" instead of the actual word; I in no way want to condone cussing, but I wanted to be vulnerable and share this piece of me.*