#goodbye2014

Oh how I love the holidays. I love them so much that I genuinely feel sad when the year is about to end because of how fast they've flown by. My family is the same way and Thanksgiving & Christmas especially are two of our favorite nights of the year, so this year was amazing to say the least. We've had the fireplace going all month long and this year the house was decked out in Christmas decor (some of which I helped design/decorate myself this time around!). Our home has been filled with the smells of freshly baked cake and pine cones -- I'm so sad to see it all coming to an end in just three days. But with that comes the start of a new year. One that I couldn't be more excited about. It's funny because I feel like in only a year I have changed so much in such tiny and huge ways. One of which is my reaction to change. I couldn't be more excited about what is to come this next year. This was such a defining year for me — full of so much growth in such different areas of my life. Personally, professionally, spiritually, and emotionally. I have so much excitement and passion going into 2015. There were certain goals I had going into this last year and I met almost every single one. I was able to travel more than I ever have before -- some trips were only for a weekend but the people I spent time time and those memories will remain with me for a lifetime. I also was able to attain a dream I had for years which was to move to SF. I promised myself I would only do it once I had a secure position and that door finally opened December of last year and come this February it will have been officially a year of me being an SF resident. I cannot believe it. In addition to that, I was just offered a new position at work which I will transition into right after 1/1. I am so thrilled about this change and it could not have come at a more opportune time. I can't wait to make even more connections this coming year and see what life in SF brings me.

My hope for 2015 is even more growth in all of these areas. In regards to relationships, I'm working on actively seeking out purposeful and fruitful people who will lift me up. Friends who consistently have one another's best interest at heart and aren't afraid to be raw with one another, even if it hurts. I don't want to be afraid of cutting out toxic relationships. I don't want to be feel obligated to go somewhere out of "FOMO", and I don't want to have to feel "sorry" for saying no to anyone/ not going to something. There is absolutely no need for you to explain yourself or prove yourself to anyone. I want this year to be spent productively and in a way where I am constantly being sharpened. It's honestly SO refreshing.

I'm looking to travel even more. I'm hoping to save up for an "eat, pray, love" excursion of my own and do some soul searching. I want to visit all the US cities I've had my eye on. And even if that means only 1-2 places this year, I think that's perfect because at least I'm starting somewhere. I don't want to get complacent or comfortable.

I want to blog more. I know we always say that and even for me, it was an epic fail keeping up with the blog at the end of this year but I don't want to apologize about it. Instead, I want to simply DO. I never want to stop doing. I feel like at times as a blogger we can become so consumed with what others are thinking or what they expect the blog to "be." I'm not going to remain fearful of that. I'm confident in this being a true peek into my life -- not simply a fashion blog or TV blog, but a hodge podge of everything. Why not? I want this to be my creative space where I can share a bit of myself that not everyone gets to always see through a unique medium. Through writing, through photography, through art.

I wish you all the very, very best year to come. Whoever you are reading this at this very moment. I happened to just go through my "Year in Review" on Wordpress and I saw that I had over 1,000 visitors from over 20 countries this year. That BLOWS my MIND. Whether someone stumbled upon this by accident or whether you check this out often, I thank you! Thank you for going on this journey with me and keeping up with my life:) It's truly humbling.

I couldn't be more excited about this upcoming year and the projects I have dreamed up. Let's get to work!

#newyearnewme

"New Year, New Me" -- probably one of the most reused sayings when it comes to bringing in the new year. I think the notion behind it is actually very beautiful. Celebrating the end of an era and starting fresh with a brand new chapter; it gives us reason to want to re-invent ourselves, almost like a blank slate. 2013 is dunzo and it's been a little under a week that we've peered into 2014, yet it already feels like such a change compared to this past year.

I had one of the wildest years of my life. One that I think stands out dramatically from the rest when I look back. Turning 24 at the end of this past year set things in motion for a dramatic change come these next few months. SO much change has happened. I took one of the biggest leaps of faith 8 months ago and opted to take an internship, which in turn led to being hired permanently as a content writer for my dream company. Words can't express how much of a blessing that has been. Not only that, but it's a literal dream come true for me because I'm now in the process of preparing to move to the city in less than a month. It feels so surreal. That's been something I've dreamt of since college days and now it's a reality. I'm so glad I had the experience of commuting and living life within the city before opting to actually move there. I figured out what I wanted and what I didn't, and now the pieces just seem to fit so well.

At the start of every new year, we've been taught to come up with our list of resolutions. For me, I don't like saying things and then not keeping them because it only leads to regret at the end of that year, but lets face it, you're more inclined to go after these resolutions if you write them out and make them goals. I don't have like a top ten list or anything, but these are a few of the things I'm really set out to aspire to accomplish in 2014:

1) Travel more. In 2013 another dream that came true for me was my trip to NYC. It's funny because I think that's so normal to some people who have had the luxury of traveling a lot and having lavish vacations all their lives, but for me big vacations are something we tend to do once every two years or so. In 2012 it was two weeks in Europe which was AMAZING, but this trip to NYC was something different. The fact that I was able to plan it all and pay for all of it on my own was so rewarding. It was just me and one dear friend and we made the MOST of our 3 days there. I will never forget that trip. It made me realize how much I value self-discovery while traveling. It's something I want to invest my money in and make sure to cross one trip off my list each year from now on. That makes 2014 very exciting to look forward to:)

2) Be completely present, no matter where I am. I have made this mistake on numerous occasions throughout my life. I tend to let my curiosity, or my "fear of missing out" (coined in pop culture as FOMO lately), get the best of me. I want to resolve in 2014 to be 100% present no matter where I am. Especially with this move to SF, I want to savor every single moment of it. From moving in, to the weeknights coming back to my neighborhood after work, to spending some weekends venturing out on my own -- I want all of it to be an adventure that I can look back on and reflect on true self-discovery and growth as a person. No more worry about not being invited to this/ missing out on that event back home/ wishing I was somewhere that I'm not. Instead just full devotion to the present and what a gift that truly is.

3) Last but not least (since the rest are random and borderline embarrassing like learning to play guitar and whatnot lol), I want to fully accept and come to terms with the truth that "Timing is Everything." One of the toughest lessons I've had to learn has been giving up my own control; letting go and letting God. Call it the perfectionist in me or maybe it's this fear of having to settle or compensate.. but I've always wanted things to go the way I've imagined them. This truth about timing was made very clear to me a few days before the New Year. Truth be told, it was actually a tough word to receive because come on, in reality, we don't really like hearing that we have to simply sit back and just wait for God to open doors in His timing. That's so unknown! But that's what a step of faith looks like. It's confidence in the unknown and unseen. I think this past year I've been so preoccupied with worry.. wondering when my time will come for certain things and that's led to major comparison to others around me, which in turn, has led to a depletion of joy. But towards the end of 2013, it just clicked that this is a notion I have to walk with every day --> let go of your own control and trust that the best is yet to come and the best is in store. Why would I doubt that for a second? The fear is crippling, I can vouch for that first hand. The fear of "what if it isn't what I hoped for?" //"what if I feel like I'm settling?"// "When will it come?" -- I mean the list goes on. There is so much fear in the unknown. But I realized I can either spend a year in confusion and anxiety about this, or I can live in joy knowing it's in God's hands and that He will give me the desires of my heart once I delight solely in Him. It's a hard pill to swallow.. but it's such a challenge. I can think of 20 different things that I've allowed my heart to "delight in" over Him sometimes. It's a good reality check to go back and reevaluate these things, and that's what I've been doing as the year started.

I know this year is going to be different, yet so much better than before. I don't believe I need to become a "new me" as the new year has started, yet I'm so thankful that I can take the old me and add to her what amazing lessons I've learned in 2013 and the ones I will continue to learn in 2014. That's what I mean when I say new me.. Same person, but new lessons learned. New growth. New ways of reacting to things in different ways than I would in years past. No more comparisons, no more fear.

Photo credit: Logan Cole Photography

#newyear

Happy new year to all of you! Wow, I can't believe we're in our first week of 2013. I can honestly say that 2012 was the most fast paced year of my life. Not in the sense that so much was going on that it seemed to fly by -- because it was actually one of the slowest years but when I look back on it as a whole. But just as a year in itself, I can't believe how quick the year went by. To say the least, 2012 wasn't really my year. I went through a lot of transitions, both personally and just some major life changes. Some that not many people know about and others that allowed me to get even closer to my friends and family through them. All in all, it was like a drought season for me and I was so ready to enter into 2013. With this year, I already KNOW it's going to be great. I went into it anticipating the best and already I feel so refreshed and ready to tackle on some new beginnings.

2013 for me is going to my no-BS year. Everything I want to try, I'm going to go full force into without fear. Without fear of what man might think, without fear of failure, and without fear of the "what if." For so long I've lived with fear being a deciding factor for me. I look back and shake my head in disappointment at how much I have let others be a controlling force in my life. So often I've fallen into the peer pressure of what others might think; what if what I want to do isn't socially accepted? What if no one is down? What if I'm the only one? I'm so over caring and so over trying to fit into this mold of what "fun" is or what we are "supposed" to be doing in our 20's.

I saw a movie trailer today and in one scene these teens walk into a typical college "rager" and one guy turns to the other and says, "See, this is what fun looks like." With the most dazed and confused expression. I'm tired of turning to other people for them to define for me what fun looks like. 2013 is my year with no excuses. I'm doing what I want and what gives me the absolute joy and fulfillment. This year I want to learn guitar and sing along with it. This year I will start my graduate program getting my Master's degree in Psychology. This year I am going to get serious about getting in shape. This year I am going to write more. This year I want to obtain the full amount of self confidence possible and not let fear or intimidation be a hindrance anymore. This year I will be JOYFUL and an example to those around me. This year I will make sacrifices because I know the blessings that will follow.

Bring it. I'm ready.